What I Did On My Summer Vacation

Photo of Dr. Stephanie’s prayer altar

A staple growing up in September, the Wednesday following Labor Day, when the Chicago Public School children returned to our elementary classrooms, we were routinely tasked with writing the essay, “What I Did On My Summer Vacation.” I often participated in a camp of some sort, played outside a little beyond the illumination of the street lights, caught lightening bugs (aka fireflies) to fashion earrings and drank water from neighbor’s water hose to keep from going inside and succumbing to the threat of “staying inside.” Suffice to say, me and my peers enjoyed being, “outside.” If I actually left the city, it would be down south to my Aunt Raye’s house in Pine Bluff, Arkansas. I was loved on by family, developed a sweet taste for good music, ate delicious food and experienced a level of unimaginable heat. Fast forward to adulthood and my desire to be outside reflects my back porch and yard. And if there is travel involved, my preference is that of a beach, external to the United States. So then, imagine my chagrin in April when my legacy experienced being released from her job within 24 hours, not as a result of poor performance or an HR incident of some sort; just a random decision that carried unimaginable impact. The news rocked us to our core and suddenly, I felt like the summer I’d been conditioned to embrace, would be likened to a long and arduous summer school experience. Hadn’t she worked hard all year? Didn’t she follow instructions and do her best? Wasn’t there evidence of being a team player, being collaborative and punctual? As far as I could tell (present bias named and excluded), she represented the best. And yet, two months of severance and a few meetings with a transitional expert was all that was offered. I made a quick decision to travel to the Big Apple to see in person how much of a bite had been taken out of my baby.

As parents, we do not desire to witness our children experience harm; in fact we act as the bullet proof vest against any attacks the enemy sends forth in the earth. Yet my melanin vibranium was unmatched. Riding with her in an Uber to return a monitor and laptop was unimaginably hard. Not just because of the present representation but because we didn’t know and had no clue as to what was next. But God. And so, my essay begins…

My Pastor, Sharon D. Nesbit said to me a few weeks ago, without knowing what was happening, “You feel like God is playing tricks on you.” My knees buckled. The entire summer has felt like a never ending game of “hide-n-seek” with God. I told the legacy earlier in the summer that this situation was not only a faith builder for her but for me as well. Yet, my words did not align with my complete acceptance of the reality presented. I felt as though we were given the red pill as opposed to the blue one. I desperately longed for life pre April. We’d just taken a trip to London in February. The friends and relationships that she’d longed for as a result of moving to NY in 2020 at the height of Covid, were a stapler in her life. She was thriving. As I look back, perhaps I should have anticipated that she was perfectly aligned for an unearthing of the sorts and so was I.

I found myself clinging to the voice of God in such a different and beautiful way. I rose at whatever time the Lord touched me and prayed. I have post it notes with declarations, accompanied by the Word of God. While that practice wasn’t new, the Holy Spirit prompted me to add the date with the declaration and the words, “In Jesus’ Name.” After the declaration was answered, I wrote the simple word, “Answered,” with the date. I watched God answer each declaration and the date from the first post-it to the second, became shorter and shorter, just like the days as summer comes to an end. I found myself witnessing to my legacy more and more. She listened. She learned different budgeting and learned to do without things that had become standard. She experienced authentic friendship and sisterhood to be her portion. She was able to see who was for her and thankfully, who was not.

Her change in job status impacted our household as well. The Lord instructed that we could assist for two months and if it wasn’t for her to find employment, we’d make plans for her to come home. She spent her days applying for jobs. So much so that she kept an excel file to keep up, cataloging more rejections than acceptances. Concurrently, my Pastor began preaching on “Unchartered Territories.” What a gift from God! We’d been catapulted into unfamiliarity and yet, instructed to continue to serve, be of service to others, hold space for them, while wiping tears from our own eyes. I said it before, but I’ll say it again. But God. As the month of new beginnings presented, I declared that a job offer would be extended before the end of August. I stated, “I believe this job is it.” And then I heard her say, “Yes, I believe it!” Within one week, she had a job offer.

Please forgive me if it sounds as though I am trivializing such a challenging experience. I don’t want to present as simplifying it. It’s been far from easy. I thought I’d run out of tears. I was concerned about her wellness. A season of rejection is not for the faint. Yet we must do our best to find connection with others to keep the enemy and his tortuous thoughts away. As Mr. Rogers would say, “We have to look for the helpers.” I want to hone in on the reality that everyone available to you may believe for your next, but there is power in your own declaration and belief. When she spoke those words, it was as though I heard, “You can play outside a little longer!” II Corinthians 3:17 reads, “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” I heard liberation and accordingly, liberation presented in the ability for her to take care of herself again, freeing us to do the same. Still more importantly, this summer allowed for me to deepen my relationship and reliance on my mother’s Jesus, and for my legacy, this summer afforded her the opportunity to get to know her mother’s Jesus.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation….learned to trust Him again, through ruins and reconstruction.