Managed by the Master
Photo by Vaishakh pillai on Unsplash
I’ve been believing God for something in particular for about 18 months, give or take an hour. I’ve prayed. I’ve fasted. I’ve worshipped. I’ve ministered in dance. I’ve written my request on my prayer wall. I’ve cried. And, I’ve continued with every aspect of the life God has granted. I’ve watched the petition that I laid before the Master be answered by loved ones, friends, acquaintances, even strangers. I’d began to wonder if my cross is even visible to God because surely if it was, He being so great and mighty would have lifted the burden from me. One day as I was juicing, I blurted, “This cross is just too much to bear.” While I didn’t audibly say, “I wish I had someone else’s,” the way God snatched me was legendary. Clearly my thoughts were not silent. I heard, “Stop trying to exchange your cross for someone else’s. They each come with varied sizes, shapes and weights, but they each are managed by Me.” On top of being slain in the spirit, my juicer broke. What does it mean to be managed by the Master?
I would suggest it involves reminding ourselves, over and over again, that no matter how intelligent we are and that we consider ourselves to be pretty decent people, lying dormant (and occasionally on display) is a bit of envy, selfishly desiring that which others may engage seemingly with ease. I know, we’ve been taught to not long for that which others have, because we don’t know the price they had to pay to get it; however, while we may not know the price of their prayer, we are fully entrenched within the cost of ours and when you’re broke, just about anything looks better than what you have. And if I’m being further transparent, perhaps it’s not the person or what they possess, but instead a bit of side eye to God, curious as to why He has neglected our prayer. After all, His sovereignty can turn toward us, as opposed to operating laser focused on everyone else. Like for real, are our prayers answered in the order by which they arrive? Like how long is the cue and may I opt for the option that doesn’t play the annoying music while I wait? I John 5:14-15 reads, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of Him.” That simple, yet powerful passage points to an invitation worth considering. Where is our “knowing” and how might we be reintroduced to it again?
Does our knowing get diminished when navigating hardness? Do we become numb to the circumstances that surround us, such to the extent that our prayers and petitions become watered down belief in the Great I Am? When our prayers go unanswered or unresponsive, does our knowing transition to doubt? Might our uncertainty ring loudly in the cadence while on our knees? I now “know” why the man with the sick child said, “I believe, help my unbelief (Mark 9:24).” Jesus was positioned to heal and He narrowed in on the doubt that the man exhibited. I feel like that man. I have countless examples and situations that have grounded my faith and yet still, there is room for me to grow and believe the promise when it doesn’t seem possible.
So now, I need to replace the juicer because it’s broken beyond repair, but I’m not, your’re not and neither are our prayers. Let’s have faith. Let’s appreciate the courage it takes for everyone to bear their own cross and let’s believe the Master who manages each one to respond.