Sitting At the Grown Up Table
Photo by Chad Montgomery on Unsplash
As a child, the representation of this week was aligned with joy, anticipation and love. To begin with, we could count on a vacation from school. I loved school but always welcomed a break. I also looked forward to going over to my aunt’s, who was affectionately known as “Sister.” Her home was filled with family and lots of food. Each one of my mother’s sisters had their own speciality that contributed to our gathering. Sister’s was homemade ice cream, Aunt Tommeye, made dressin’, greens and candied sweet potatoes, my Aunt Eloise made the mac and cheese and sour cream pound cake, and my mom made cheesecake, pound cake, cookies and likely something else I’m forgetting. As the aroma of love filled the home, following our family prayer, the big reveal was always whether I got to sit at the table with the grown ups. Much to my dismay, I was dismissed to the basement with the other people under the age of 18. The kids table had the same food as I named, but the grown up table represented the concept of “having arrived.” There were conversations that were juicier than the turkey and whispers when folx who were not privy to the “tea” entered the space. But sitting at the grown up table required experience, sitting at the grown up table dripped with wisdom and a resolve that my tenderness had not yet experienced. And now, here I am old enough to not only sit at the grown up table, but perhaps even plan the tablescape; longing for the ease of my youth. In reflection, this year as it comes to an end has presented far more required seating at the grown up table. It’s been hard to escape it; and yet, there is God, reassuring that He never makes seating arrangement mistakes. In fact, now more than ever, God has seated us exactly where He’s orchestrated us to be.
Ephesians 2:6 reads, “And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus.” As we navigate difficulties, challenges and outright uncertainty, it easily feels like we are disconnected to our source. More times than I can count over 2025, I’ve wanted to just carry my plate downstairs to my aunt’s basement, and be oblivious to what was happening upstairs. But instead, with each lived reality, God has granted the strength, assurance, peace, encouragement and resilience to keep churning, just like my aunt’s ice cream machine. She would jokingly say, “If you don’t churn, you don’t eat.” In the spiritual realm, our perceived times of famine will not last for long. We just have to continue to churn. Life’s experiences build our muscle to overcome rocky terrain. And as we engage this reality, we build the fortitude to sit at the grown up table. We find ourselves in a position to encourage someone else, be a light bearer in darkness and hope amidst despair.
No matter what we experience, we must remind ourselves that we are seated with God. His table is that of abundance - and not always abundance in the traditional ways that society would have us to believe. A sound mind is abundance; good health is abundance; having a lazy weekend is abundance; rest is abundance; a good meal is abundance and good conversation with a friend, an embrace from a loved one and a text that reads, '“just thinking about you,” represents someone who has comfortably accepted the invitation to sit at the grown up table and resistance to retreat to places that are spiritually immature. And furthermore, in God we get the added benefit of being His child - the beauty of receiving a harvest that has been prepared for us - even in the presence of our enemies.
Hard to believe that I am at the age that my aunts were when we created those beautiful memories. I’ve been scurrying around planning the menu, gathering the groceries and setting the table. Later this week, I’m hosting my family, just as my aunt would do. I’m thanking God in advance for everyone’s safety - in my family and yours - and that everyone gets what they need from the table. I’m praying that our life’s lessons serve as the warmth of a decadent dessert emerging from the oven to anyone who is hurting, questioning or just needs to be reminded that God loves them and that every difficult moment establishes our seating - for His glory and for the betterment of those we have the opportunity to touch. May we be ever so grateful this coming Thursday and every day the Lord allows.